We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
