Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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