After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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