She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
