Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
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It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
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I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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