You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
