North Korea, Best Korea!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Life without a bra equals bliss.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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