Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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