Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
