your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
