there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
