If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
as a side note pls kill me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
