Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
