I can text with my tongue
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
