I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
