I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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