Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize