We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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