Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize