lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
