Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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