The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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