Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We just shotgunned beers for America
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
