I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The air taste purple.
Randomize
