brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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