we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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