This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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