i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
