I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
