I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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