Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
