i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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