Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
only if we run a train.
done.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Let's get the cat blown out
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
