I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
