No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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