remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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