You're my little dorito
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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