I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize