Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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