Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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