i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
