glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
