I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
