I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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