WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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