Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
