If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
