If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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