Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
