Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
