Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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