it hurts more in the daytime
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
home. puking in laundry basket.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
