Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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