I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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