Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
