I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
